Identity Crisis

I recently found myself at an event with many unknown faces sitting around a table, and someone suggested we all go around and share what we “do”.

I had been dreading this moment all. day. long.

Each individual went around, providing their professional work title and a small description of what their work looks like.

When it came time for my turn, I attempted a joke by saying I didn’t have a fancy title like all of them…it didn’t quite land. I felt my cheeks flush as I explained that I perform, but was in between right now, leading worship & hosting at a restaurant.

Nothing stings more than realizing your identity has just been sealed with a silent nod of a strangers head.

Driving home my mind was a whirlwind of thoughts: What am I doing with my life? At least I held my head high! How do you not know what you want 5 years from now? Everyone else has it together!

My heart broke when I walked into my home, and allowed the weight of humility I had experienced just minutes ago to hit me.

I have never experienced anything more humbling to date.

My wonderful fiance reminded me of a verse that speaks to this: But those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted. Luke 14:11

God knew I needed to be humbled, I needed to be grounded right back into Him. And as I stood there in tears, feeling sorry for myself, my identity was made perfectly clear: I am God’s daughter.

Society tells me I need a brilliant job title to be my identity, but I do not. What I need is to understand that my life looks different than anyone else I know, and that’s okay. It’s more than okay.

A job is never going to be who I am. I’d be quite the patchwork quilt of that was the case: Singer, Dancer, Actor, Nanny, Hostess, CNA, Finance Intern, Worship Leader, Performing Arts Teacher…you get the idea. Those jobs will never be who I am. They are just something I do!

Sometimes they will be things I do for passion, sometimes they will be things I do to pay the bills.

But who I am now, is now, and always will be, in Christ. No matter the job.